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Because I drink the question of what I am teaching my children has been pose to me a few times. It is a good question which I like to answer. I think the reason the question is asked in the first place is because "in contemporary America, we are taught that alcoholics are born, not made. Yet no gene determines that any individual will become an alcoholic. Rather, development of adult alcoholism is a long-term, interactive process. The problem with a blanket disapproval of drinking is that many adolescents develop drinking habits on their own that are very different from sipping wine at a religious feast or family meal.
Ironically, in the United States today, we follow the method of alcohol education found least successful in the Valliant study. That is, alcohol is grouped with illicit drugs, and adolescents are taught that abstinence is the only answer. Yet adolescents are aware that most adults drink, moreover drinking will be legal and widely available to them within a few short years. Clearly, many young people find the abstinence message confusing and hypocritical.
We all know that many Americans drink only occasionally or lightly at meals and social occasions. They know when to quit, don't misbehave when they drink and enjoy the taste and sensation of alcohol without going overboard.
Most of us are also aware that people in different cultures handle alcohol differently. In the Mediterranean societies-- Italy, Spain, Portugal-- alcohol is consumed in the form of wine, usually at meals, by family members of all ages. European countries permit adolescents to drink with their family at restaurants. Yet in America those practices seem reprehensible. But in America we produce many more problems drinkers than do many traditional cultures".
So am I predesignating my sons to alcoholism because I drink? I don't think so! So what exactly am I modeling and teaching my children? I'm teaching my children the principles of God's Word, which is to live their lives in the enjoyment of the things of God within the parameters established by God.
Information poured from:
Alcohol Problems And Solutions
Monday, December 17, 2007
Teaching My Children
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6 comments:
Jason, this is a most excellent blog!
I taught my children to drink as they were growing up. Now that they are young adults, I notice that many of their comtemporaries overindulge, while they continue to enjoy God's gift in moderation.
Thanks for your work here!
Peace,
Mike
Great post! Thanks for reading my blog and for your comment.
Evangelicals have bought into the born alcoholic nonsense. My own mother would say to me. "Jason you really should not drink because you might be an alcoholic and not even know about it. One sip could lead you down the road of a life of addiction".
Evangelicals are vehemently opposed to the homosexual propaganda that they were born that way. The homosexual likes to use this argument because they think it excuses them from any responsibility from their practice.
Evangelicals can't have it both ways. If you except the born an alcoholic then you have to except the born a homosexual. Both beliefs are grossly in err
Jason,
I've always been an 'everything in moderation' believer. I still can't find anything in the Word that prohibits drinking alcohol as long as we are not getting drunk. My husband felt the same way. That is, until life got hard. One beer turned into two. Two turned into eight or nine. Nine turned into about 20 when he was away on business. Twenty turned into absolutely no shame or inhibition. The lack of self-control made it real easy to turn on the porn in the hotel room. The porn made it easier to have an affair. The affair did damage that can never be completely erased. My husband wasn't slobbering drunk during this time and most people would never know he even had a major problem with it. He could down a six pack without looking even mildly relaxed. This was a mature christian man who was passionate for the Lord, his kids, and me. Moderation was great until "just one more" made things feel a whole lot less stressful after the neighbor's kid shot himself at 13, or one of our kids did something incredibly stupid, or work got way beyond stressful. The guilt that ensued prevented him from seeking help from the Lord or any Christian friends so he just let his walk slide.....for about six years. Right while our kids were in their teen years. Not good timing.
Honestly, I can have a drink, stop at one....or two, and not have a problem. I love wine. I love mixed drinks. I could take or leave beer --except for the micro-brewery stuff. BUT....I won't touch the stuff again. EVER. I've seen too many wonderful believers find themselves in situations they'd never dream they'd be in because of alcohol.
I don't turn down alcohol because I'm pious or think I'm better than those 'in the world'. I turn it down because I know I'm not.
Like I said, I don't think the Bible prohibits alcohol use, but if I'm honest with myself, I did enjoy the slight buzz that one glass would bring. What is the fine line between a little buzz and drunk? What is drunk?
All I would caution you is to please be careful. I don't say that as an arrogant tee-totaler. I say that as one who lived through hell after a lifetime in 'moderation-land'. My husband and I are completely reconciled but my husband is devastated by his own shame and guilt. He can't stand what he did to me. He accepts the Lord's and my forgiveness, but there's no hiding the terrible damage that was done. We have years that we can't recapture. Because I know how sick he feels about it, I've never fully worked through much of it with him so I've just 'eaten' a lot of emotions. He was a broken man and if he could go back and make the decision all over again, he wouldn't touch the stuff. It wasn't worth it.
Soon, he'll be away on the first business trip he's been on in a year. He quit drinking three years ago. The panic hasn't left me yet. Time has healed plenty, but trust takes years to rebuild. If you had asked me 10 years ago if this could have ever happened in our family, I would have bet our house that it couldn't.
While I believe you have the freedom to drink, please be careful not to look down on those who refuse the waiter's offer, or misjudge their motives.
Sorry to sign in anonymously but I have for obvious reasons.
I am so glad you wrote. I will take to heart what you said. I do realise some have forfeit their rights to drink forever. My brother is one such person. No doubt the dangers are real.
I'm sorry I gave the impression that I viewed all teetotaler as pious, arrogant and a holier-than-thou. Yes some are just that but I have many teetotaler friends who are for reasons other than they think it is biblically wrong to drink or that they are obeying one of a long list of don't do's. One friend just don't like the taste of alcohol.
I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment and glad you and your husband were able to reconcile.
Jason,
I think it no small coincidence that in a land where we are procaimed adults (free to make our own decisions and held to the highest responsibilities) at the age of 18, yet forbidden to drink until the age of 21, that the age group of 18-21 (i.e. college underclassmen) has the most problems with drinking.
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